Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
