I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
