haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Apparently you make a good broom.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
