just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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