I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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