omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
