I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
