Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I smell stomach acid.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize