M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
