how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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