I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
