"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
