I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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