I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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