girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
