Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
