i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
