can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
