The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
