I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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