dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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