I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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