Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
