I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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