we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
