it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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