have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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