Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
