I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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