Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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