all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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