She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
