dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
