Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
