Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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