JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
