yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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