Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
