farters have to be the big spoon...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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