Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
