Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
