YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
