People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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