Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize