Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
