I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
