I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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