My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize