they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
