How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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