I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
