yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
