I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
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Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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