remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
