you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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