He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
