why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
