I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
