I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
