i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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