never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I see more hoeing in ur future
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
