escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern